The Dullsvillain

Slinging mud at the media of Dullsville (aka Perth, Western Australia)

Archive for the ‘Dullsville Heroes’ Category

Wouldn’t be a Dullsville blog without…

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Found myself lost in Perth’s infamous Chamber of Beasts a few weeks back looking for the Nick Cave exhibit. Frozen in time is right – about 1982, by my estimation.

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Written by Dick

September 2, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Streak West Young Man, Streak West

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The hunt is on for a man with a yellow face and a raincoat in semi operational condition. I think you’re safe Zhu.

streaker

TASER!, TASER!, TASER!

We won’t even go into if this is appropriate use of police resources, ok?

Gone are the days when you could drunkenly ungarment down on the hill at the WACA ground and waltz through the centre square like you missed the opening festivities of mardi gras, whilst attending to some emerging cracks at the Prindiville end on the way. That is, for a reasonable nominal fee mind you. From last glance Lillee and co. were charging $10,000 for such an indiscretion. An outrageous amount for these times, and far exceeding inflation.

Judging by the sports that have been streaked at, (AFL, International Cricket, Rugby Union etc) this must mean that netball has finally arrived! YES!…Well, maybe. Judging by whatever this means: (article also in the WSW)

netball

Paradoxical

I’m not sure what Challenge Stadium are charging, but if my dear Denise has anything to say about it, they could find themselves de-membered and performing high octane renditions of Maria Callas:

denise

Denise S. (S? wtf?!) Cahill looks that girl in primary school (and who looks like she still might be there) who sat up the front, answered every question, and got them right, but who everyone avoided at recess. A sort of generic plain jane with a lot of book smarts but with very limited street smarts. Possibly the worst formula for a journalist to have.  I got an email last week from an American internet service claiming to be able to find my Highschool freinds, and i’m pretty damn sure Denises’ mug was staring blankly back at me. Though, i could be mistaken.

But is this the most appropriate subject for an editor of a weekly paper that reaches nealry 35,000 households to be making? Surely there’s more pressing matters to attend to.

Pandering to the easily disgruntled western suburbs pensioners you ask?

Nah, couldn’t be that.

Nunzio La Bianca: Dullsville Hero

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The forced closure of The Rock was characteristically Dullsville, and a real shame. Even though it was one of Perth’s most disgusting dives, it had personality. And personality goes a long way.

But, inevitably, the cops and other sundry neo-prohibitionists got pissed off about people having fun, and stepped in with coercive force. Not only was Nunzio La Bianca’s small business unceremoniously shut down, but he was personally banned from the whole booze industry.

Almost:

A NIGHTCLUB owner – the first person in WA to face a five-year ban from working at licensed premises – will open an “alcohol-free” venue in Northbridge.

But in an apparent loophole, Nunzio La Bianca will allow BYO at the “dry” Newcastle St nightspot, Revolutions – and there appear to be no regulations to stop him.

hero

Even the Commissioner of the Fun Police didn’t see this one coming:

A spokesman for Police Commissioner Karl O’Callaghan said: “It’s impossible to predict the impact of the reopening of The Rock as a BYO venue, but WA Police will continue to closely monitor violent and anti-social behaviour in that area”.

nunz the wiser

Tastes like “dry” humble pie, don’t it Karl?

This is actually a decent idea from Nunz. BYO nightclubs and music venues could be a cheap and unpretentious alternative to Perth’s shameful nightlife scene.

But, of course, there’s no way that’s how this will pan out. The “loophole” allowing Nunz to remain a nightclub honcho will be closed faster than you can mix a non-alcoholic daiquiri, and I reckon he knows it.

For Nunz, this is really just a sneaky ‘fuck you’ to the Liquor Commission, the cops, and the WA public who support them. Just listen to the cheeky bastard:

I’m trying to give people an option of going somewhere rather than hanging around with drunks and people who are intoxicated…

Not everybody goes out to get drunk. There’s this perception that everybody goes to Northbridge to get drunk…

There’s a problem in Northbridge with alcohol. I don’t think that I’ve been part of that problem, but the Liquor Board and the police seem to think I have. Well, I’m going to run a venue without alcohol.

Lol. Pull the other one, Nunz!

nunz' pet shop

You can find Nunz’s “alcohol-free” “Pet Shop” on Newscastle Street, at the arse end of Northbrige. It’s the big pink former nightclub.

Written by Dick

June 25, 2009 at 9:57 pm

Western Suburbs Hero

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You might remember me calling for some Peppermint Grove Shire blood a couple of weeks ago. Well, my wish has come true.  In a big, big way. This guy is wanted for a $500 000 theft (repossession) of jewellery from a Peppermint Grove mansion. He is my new hero.

WANTED: For having extremely large balls

WANTED: For having extremely large balls

 Here’s what Perthnow had to say about it: 

“POLICE have identified a man they want to speak to over a $500,000 jewllery heist in Peppermint Grove last week.

They are appealing for Andre Kerhart, 29, to contact western suburbs detectives.

Police say Mr Kerhart, who is driving a black Mitsubishi 380, may be able to help with their investigation.

A large amount of jewellery was taken from a View St property at about noon on June 11.

A 69-year-old woman returned to her house to discover a man dressed like a tradesman leaving the property.

repoman460

Was he dressed like this? That ain't no tradesman lady, that's called a repo man.

She chased the man to his car, believed to be a Toyota Aurion sedan, across the street and, with help from two other residents, tried to stop him starting his vehicle.

Det Snr Constable Ryan Goard said the offender was able to fend off the three people and accelerated away, nudging a parked car along the way.

The man is understood to have headed in the direction of Mosman Park after fleeing the scene.

The rear number plate had been removed during the incident and the front plate was taped over.

This was just laying around in the top draw? Goodbye family jewels. hahahaha!

This was just laying around in the top draw? Goodbye family jewels! hahahaha!

Det Snr Constable Goard said the offender has stolen about $500,000 worth of jewellery from the upstairs bedroom of the woman’s home”.
Robbery in the Shire: "Gimmee that ring, bitch"

Robbery in the Shire: "Gimmee that ring, bitch"

It might be pissing down outside, but my heart is full of sunshine.

Like the ol’ saying goes; when it rains, it pours.

Written by Uncle Mac

June 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm