From the Dullsvault: February 19, 1984

As part of the mission to understand why Dullsville is Dull in these ways, and also because I finally realize that Chinese Times has nothing worth translating because it all come from the Perthnow anyway (un-atributed of course, always), so I decided to crack open the Dullsvault instead.

Actually, in 1984, readers have no Perthnow of course – only hardcopy Sunday Times of course. So, come with me on the journey to discover when they open the newspaper on FEbruary 19, 1984, what do they find?

Good start, uproar in London about the two sexual “deviants”, who they say are “jumping the queue” because they are actually considered a couple!

Get real man, this is the 80s! heterosexual is first-class citizen, homosexual second, okay? But we can see even in 1984, still have this gay-marriage debate….since then how much progress has been occurred? Maybe none, but in this case, if some lesbian feel like being oppressed by this newspaper story, only need to look to the advert just to the right-hand side to find someone to fight for them the article:

Clearly, “THE REBEL TRADER”, Mr Gerald, he would fight for the lesbian rights if you buy his product.

Anyone recognize this hero-cop below, maybe have the Royal Showbag named after him? Showbag contains the most high technology of police propaganda – balloons and metal badges:

But since then, we can see the real-life hero has been dumped, dishonored:

From the Dullsvault: Timeless Bad Ads

The Dullsvillain plunders the vault of Perth’s media past

I guess The Dullsvillain’s “bad ads” category is a bit of a tautology. Ads are always bad. There’s a picture of an ad in the dictionary next to the word “bad”.

No, seriously.

But were ads always bad? Say, 30 years ago?

Yep, ads were always bad! Also, racist.

Anyone remember those 90s Big Rock ads with the chieftain’s booming voice over?:

It was kind of a shame for everyone when the PC crowd got to them and he was replaced by a fast whispering lady:

A shame for everyone except for native Americans. It was kind of a win for them.

But that Big Rock ad is at least honest about hitting rock bottom. Actually, brutal honesty seems to have been in fashion back then:

1979 consumer: Great, Mitchells’ mattresses are a cut below the rest!

2009 consumer: Awesom– Wait, what?

If you look closely, the crudely sketched moustachioed bloke is supposed to be Dennis Lillee. Which is educational, because if you were born after 1979, you probably only remember him from such product-flogs as Steel Blue work boots and Carpet Call.

A mere five months after this ad, Lillee infamously toted an aluminium bat to the crease at the WACA against England:

This incident caused a short-lived surge in the sale of metal bats, before they were unceremoniously banned by cricket.

1979 been a fucked up year.