Let’s all have a big international punch on!

Penbo: "The Punch's" heavy hitter

David Penberthy, the editor of The Punch get quite agitated about the Melbourne Film Festival insanity.

The quick background: Melbourne Film Festival decide to include a film about a woman accused by Chinese government of being a terrorist. In return, the Chinese government demand they cancel the film, and some Chinese directors withdraw from the festival.

I will say my opinion about all this at the end, but first I want to “sling mud” at the fear-monger David Penberthy, because the last thing Australia needs is over-exaggeration of China’s badness, because the Chinese government itself does good enough job of that.

“Penbo” began with the normal tabloid attack on the cosmopolitan types often associate negatively with the sipping of the milky coffee (for what reason, I never understand – something about milk not being cool?).

Uncomplicate, unhassle, unshoot me in the freakin’ head

If you’re from Dullsville you would have encountered SGIO’s horrifying “un-” campaign.  Brace your soul:

Four reasons why the guy who did the voice-over for this ad is a FUCKING LIAR:

1. He wouldn’t touch prawns from the Swan River with YOUR mouth;
2. He hasn’t got a clue what “Rotto” or “the Doctor” are;
3. His motivation for that knowing grunt at 0:15 was the thought “I can’t believe they’re paying me for this garbage”; and
4. He knows that the prefix “un” is meaningless as a noun.

The fake nostalgia for a supposedly less complicated (apologies, UNcomplicated) past pushed in this ad (and, to a lesser extent, the other “un-“ ads) is such a fucking lie.  For chissakes, back when you could fish kilos of delicious prawns out of the Swan, there was no cure for polio. But I guess the fact that this ad is a lie is just duh.  It’s an ad for insurance.

But it’s such a bad lie and SUCH a bad ad. Really, who were the soulless freaks in the focus group that ate this shit up?  Come on, fellow human beings. The jerk in this ad didn’t get his yacht, his mooring at Rotto and his ripped physique by reminiscing about the good ol’ days and “unworrying”. And it’s been proven by science that you can’t “unworry” when you think about whether to spend a chunk of your income on the complicated theoretical benefits of insurance.

The only good thing about this ad is the gorgeous Rotto scenery.  Oh, and when Billy Backflip gets (un)stabbed in the balls with a giant (un)phallus:

Yay.

The West: “Prison ain’t so bad”

The cover of last Saturday’s West was dominated by a huge pic of Ben Cousins’ guns and faux hawk a Casuarina prisoner:

High-security prison > Fitness First (note: "Such is life" tattoo illegible)

The actual story got a two page spread over pages 8 and 9:

Everything about this sent bullshit alarms ringing.  Just read that last paragraph, and ask yourself what kind of a sick freak finishes a tour of a nightmare factory like Casuarina by shrugging and saying “it doesn’t seem too bad”.

So I asked a friend in the Department of Corrective Services (who I’ll call S) to have a look at it. Here’s what she had to say:

Dick: So what do you think?

S: It’s a stupid article – and by stupid I mean it panders to its readers’ intelligence…

It’s good that it mentions overcrowding, but if I was writing about overcrowding there is no way I would describe it in the sugary context the journalist does. I imagine this article was designed to make Christian Porter and our department look like everything is sunshine and roses.

Dick: “Criminal melting pot” fail. What obvious stuff is she missing re overcrowding?

S: Overcrowding is a huge problem. Huge. We are breaching all sorts of UN conventions – mainly the humane treatment of prisoners. If I had written the article I would have hammered home the serious breaches of international law being committed by the WA govt, and used more poignant and descriptive language to describe the overcrowding. The public need to hear about it. DCS is grappling with budget issues regarding prisons, and if another prison isn’t built soon, WA is going to be in a lot of trouble. Already the police are preparing briefing submissions to their Commissioner (and ultimately their Minister) to amend legislation under their jurisdiction to issue fines for criminal behaviour rather than charging, issuing summons to court with the possible outcome being a jail sentence. Our prisons cannot handle more people going to jail.

If she was a proper investigative journalist, this is an issue she should have included in the article – the fact that laws are being changed to stop people ending up in jail.

Dick: Another point I think is the way the public is ALWAYS calling for mandatory detention and longer jail terms (usually with the full support of the West) without regard to this issue. And here they don’t even address it in a three page article.

S: Jail doesn’t work to deter or rehabilitate offenders – all it does is remove them from the community, ie: removing the threat that person poses for a certain time period. When they are released, the stats show they will reoffend and will return to prison within two years with the offending behaviour significantly worse.

The key is prevention. Preventing people from ending up in jail is the best way to counteract offending behaviour. But prevention is a whole of government approach, and trying to get government agencies to work together when we are all fighting each other in the treasury for funds is just too hard. Similarly, the WA public don’t want to hear about prevention – prevention is too expensive. You’re right in your comments – the public want people to go to jail for long periods of time. They want the government to be “tough on crime” – hence the name of the article referencing the word “Tough” – touching base with familiar discourse which is soothing to the average WA mum/dad.

Sometimes it makes me want to move to Canada.

Dick: Anything else this piece is missing? What about the fact that this chick looks like a preppy Western suburbs careerist. Surely she would have been leered at?

S: Yeah you get leered at a little bit but I found overall the prisoners are quite well-behaved. Juveniles in detention are far far worse. I was spat at by a juvenile at Banksia. At the adult prisons, the prisoners will say hello if you speak to them and are polite. I have never had any problems except the usual gawking which is to be expected. The prison officers are excellent. That is another point I would have made in the article – the prison guards are amazing people. They are fascinating to talk with, have insights into the criminal mind and the justice system that lawyers could only dream of having.

Juvenile justice is the main problem facing WA at the moment – the system is stuffed.

If you want to read a damning article on juvenile justice have a browse of this when you’ve got a minute. The Executive Summary is probably all you need to read. It’s pretty damning…

Dick: So, overall…

S: Writing about the attractive prisoners with their well chiselled physiques does nothing to inform the public of the issues surrounding Casuarina or Hakea (our remand prison) – the article is a joke, a puff piece to read while people eat their toast and sip their instant coffee before taking the kids to tee ball. The luke warm soothing of the anxieties of the WA public that yes, people like David Birnie, William Patrick Mitchell and other heinous offenders, are locked up in a very serious place and all is well in the world is nauseating and should be put in its proper place: the lining of the kitty litter tray, or as kindling on a fire.

Not to mention the other extremely serious issue of drug use and trafficking in prisons!!! Don’t get me started!

***

Thanks for nothing, Gabrielle Knowles and the West.

Someone should get shivved for this.

Michael Bennett

Being torn a new one by Media Watch. His expression says “Oh My God, But i was only following editorial standards”. not good enough Michael. 

This says I like to fuck people over.

This says I’ve lost my eyebrows anyone seen ’em?

How big was my lie?.. this big.

Fucking liar.

Phoney Phil

Remember phil ‘from the ‘burbs’ haberland who writes for the sunday times?

Turns out when he says ‘burbs’ he actually means the western suburbs.

Yes indeed. he writes a column in the western suburbs weekly.

What a phoney.

He’s their big gun contributer. coming in at first drop on page 2 in their batting line up.

His column this week was whinging about how he couldn’t get his fagoty luxury mixture of egyptian dried nuts, herbs & spices at the new claremont quarter, called ‘dukkahs’.

And yes, he did actually give this dried food ‘dukkahs’ a capital D in the heading.

Outflaming the flamers

Compare and contrast the following comments in relation to last week’s asylum seeker tragedy:

(A) now they know if they burn themselves they get a private jet to paradise, with all bills paid.

(B) scumbags [are] using loopholes to break Australian laws

(C) you are not wanted, and you will not be successful in trying to come to Australia

(D) IN A FEW YEARS, THERE WILL BE NO ENGLISH SPOKEN IN OUR COUNTRY

(E) These people have paid big money, have bypassed safe countries and are determined to bypass our laws.

(F) [people smuggling] is all about cash, nothing to do with getting an individual, a young person, a family safely to Australia

(G) Bring back the death penalty & turn these boats around & escort them back from where they came & spend our taxpayers money on things we need for Australians.

(H) people smugglers are the vilest form of human life…. they should rot in jail, and… rot in hell

All of them are hideously ignorant and inflamatory.  The difference?  Some of them were said by commentors on Perthnow, others by intelligent public servants in senior positions of responsibility…

(A) Perthnow commentor John of Hilton

(B) Perthnow commentor Byebyekrudd

(C) Opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull

(D) Perthnow commentor bryan of philippines

(E) Perthnow commentor mikelees of oz

(F) Opposition immigration spokesperson Sharman Jones

(G) Perthnow commentor mum of 3(!) of Mandurah

(H) Prime Minister Kevin Rudd