The Dullsvillain

Slinging mud at the media of Dullsville (aka Perth, Western Australia)

Think there’s something to do in Perth?

with 5 comments

Those happenin’ cats at PerthNow have assembled all of the evidence that Perth isn’t a boring, atavistic hellhole:

Think there’s nothing to do in Perth?

FOR all those that call Perth ‘Dullsville’, maybe you’re just not aware of all the events happening around the city.

Maybe you’re just not aware of all of the events, but PerthNow is aware of all the events! What follows is an extensive list of all them. There’s so much happening, folks! I couldn’t assemble the whole list here, because it goes on 4 EVA, but here’s a taste:

Tuesday, In One Act

Until Sat 5 Sep, The Blue Room Studio, 8.30pm

This intimate, absurdist play takes you to a world where astronauts carry briefcases and cowboys feed pigeons. A delicate flux between poetry, satire and unpretentious honesty.

A world where cowboys feed pigeons? Get right outta town!

Spring Friday Night Shopping at Harbour Town

Fri 4, 11, 18 & 25 Sep, Harbour Town, 6pm to 9pm

Shop for your spring essentials at over 100 brand direct outlets while soaking up the sounds of jazz trios, contemporary crooners and the cool sounds of the calypso cats.

Factory direct Elwood t-shirts and jazz. A match made in Huhvean.

Catholic Arts Carnevale

Wed 9 Sep, Forrest Place, 9am

See a showcase of talent from Catholic primary and secondary schools. Activities include interactive displays, music and dance performances.

BYO condoms.

When I Grow Up

Sun 6 Sep, Fashion Central, Forrest Place, 10am

Celebrate Father’s Day with your dad at Perth Fashion Central as gorgeous kids and their fashionable dads model the latest collections from Forrest Chase retailers.

Replace the word “gorgeous” with “spoilt” and the word “fashionable” with “emasculated”. Oh, and the word “model” with “whore”.

After this “event”, shit somehow gets even duller:

City of Perth Library

Hay Street, Weekdays 9am to 6pm and Sat 9am to 12pm

A variety of activities including board games for seniors, free internet course for beginners, preschool story time and more.

More like “bored games”, am I right?

Kangaroos

Heirisson Island

Home to a colony of Western Grey kangaroos, found in the southern enclosure of the island.

“Kangaroos” is an event now.

Scitech and Horizon the Planetarium

City West Complex, West Perth

Experience the fun of science with interactive exhibitions and live theatre demonstrations.

Remember nothing, except that the plane-arium is the best thing that you’ve ever known.

State Library of Western Australia

Perth Cultural Centre

Join in at a variety of events, research online, search for your favourite book or hold your meeting or function at the library.

Dullsville? Our TWO libraries suggest otherwise!

Wheel of Perth

Perth Foreshore, Riverside Drive

Experience stunning and panoramic views of the city, Swan River and Kings Park during the 12 minute ride.

Well, that’s 12 minutes of my weekend scheduled.

The Bell Tower, Home of the Swan Bells

Barrack Square, 10am to 3.45pm

Listen to the Bells of St Martin’s chime, enjoy the view from the viewing platform and wander through the exhibitions.

There are three things to do at the Bell Tower, Home of the Swan Bells!

http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,26016525-5005364,00.html

Those happenin’ cats at PerthNow have assembled all of the evidence that Perth isn’t a boring, atavistic hellhole:

Think there’s nothing to do in Perth?

FOR all those that call Perth ‘Dullsville’, maybe you’re just not aware of all the events happening around the city.

PerthNow is aware of all the events, though! What follows is an extensive list of all them. There’s so much happening, folks! I couldn’t assemble the whole list here, because it goes on 4 EVA, but here’s a taste:

Tuesday, In One Act
Until Sat 5 Sep, The Blue Room Studio, 8.30pm
This intimate, absurdist play takes you to a world where astronauts carry briefcases and cowboys feed pigeons. A delicate flux between poetry, satire and unpretentious honesty.
Call  9227 7005 or  blueroom.org.au

A world where cowboys feed pigeons? Get right outta town!

Spring Friday Night Shopping at Harbour Town
Fri 4, 11, 18 & 25 Sep, Harbour Town, 6pm to 9pm
Shop for your spring essentials at over 100 brand direct outlets while soaking up the sounds of jazz trios, contemporary crooners and the cool sounds of the calypso cats.
Call 9321 2282 or harbourtown.com.au

Factory direct Elwood t-shirts and jazz. A match made in Huhvean.

Catholic Arts Carnevale
Wed 9 Sep, Forrest Place, 9am
See a showcase of talent from Catholic primary and secondary schools. Activities include interactive displays, music and dance performances.
Call 9272 7655 or  catholicarts.wa.edu.au

BYO condoms.

When I Grow Up
Sun 6 Sep, Fashion Central, Forrest Place, 10am
Celebrate Father’s Day with your dad at Perth Fashion Central as gorgeous kids and their fashionable dads model the latest collections from Forrest Chase retailers.
Call 9463 7777 or  perthfashionfestival.com.au

Replace the word “gorgeous” with “spoilt” and the word “fashionable” with “emasculated”. Oh, and the word “model” with “whore”.

City of Perth Library
Hay Street, Weekdays 9am to 6pm and Sat 9am to 12pm
A variety of activities including board games for seniors, free internet course for beginners, preschool story time and more.
Call 9461 3581 or  perth.wa.gov.au

More like “bored games”, am I right?

From this entry onward, shit gets really, really dull…

Kangaroos
Heirisson Island
Home to a colony of Western Grey kangaroos, found in the southern enclosure of the island.
Call 9461 3368 or perth.wa.gov.au

“Kangaroos” is an event now.

Scitech and Horizon the Planetarium
City West Complex, West Perth
Experience the fun of science with interactive exhibitions and live theatre demonstrations.
Call 9215 0700 or scitech.org.au

Planetariums suck ass.

State Library of Western Australia
Perth Cultural Centre
Join in at a variety of events, research online, search for your favourite book or hold your meeting or function at the library.
Call 9427 3111 or slwa.wa.gov.au

Dullsville? Our TWO libraries say otherwise!

Wheel of Perth
Perth Foreshore, Riverside Drive
Experience stunning and panoramic views of the city, Swan River and Kings Park during the 12 minute ride.
Call 6101 1676 or thewheelofperth.com.au
Well, that’s 12 minutes of my weekend scheduled.
The Bell Tower, Home of the Swan Bells
Barrack Square, 10am to 3.45pm
Listen to the Bells of St Martin’s chime, enjoy the view from the viewing platform and wander through the exhibitions.
Call 6210 0444 or swanbells.com.au

There are three things to do at the Bell Tower!

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Written by Dick

September 6, 2009 at 2:26 pm

5 Responses

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  1. After reading this I can’t decide whether to make my flights to Perth earlier than december, or cancel them altogether.

    Bolivillain

    September 10, 2009 at 4:24 am

  2. My favourite: “kangaroos are an event now”

    BAHAHHAHA!!!

    zhuhongbing

    September 11, 2009 at 10:38 pm

  3. i wish my balls would get stunned by the balls deep arse bum slapping that would occur had i will pound ms.cute 20 something out of journaliscrasipism school, tight fresh hyper pink cute fanny piss hole!

    Dr.crunkfunkdunkable

    December 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  4. I like atavistic. Can I suggest anodyne as a vocabulary stuffer too? Let me also second the thoughts of Dr Crump. To each according to their needs eh?

    Yo can also see 9-11 truthers in the Cultural Centre.

    The Lazy Aussie

    January 17, 2010 at 9:30 pm


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