The Dullsvillain

Slinging mud at the media of Dullsville (aka Perth, Western Australia)

The times they are a-Chonging

with 15 comments

From The West Australian last week:




First Patti Chong quits her blog at WA Today, and now her favourite furniture store and questionable source of F-grade publicity, Merrys Furniture, are packing up shop for a new location! This sequence of heartbreaking news has shocked the psyche of right-thinking people.

Patti’s paid endorsement of Merrys is so funny. Strange funny, not ha-ha funny. I mean, why her? Unlike John Hughes, she doesn’t own the store.  Unlike Luigi Savadamoni, she isn’t an actual celebrity. I presume she doesn’t have any special knowledge about the benefits of couches made from real dead cows. But that ain’t stopping her!

Yet… something about this ad is so =(.

This, from Nova’s breakfast segment fuckstains “Nathan and Nat”, doesn’t help:

They are cackling at her accent, right? When Nat pronounces “Patti Chong” like a sneering teenager, it’s hard to escape the conclusion that these are a couple of schoolyard bullies with their sights on the Malay kid:


It’s scary to think about the number of Dullsvillains who straightline this sewage on the way to work every morning.

After all of that, maybe it’s time to lay off Patti for a while. Right after I get this out of the way:






Written by Dick

August 23, 2009 at 10:51 pm

15 Responses

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  1. Uncalled for enhancements Dick. But they’re disgustingly funny.

    Those pics may even have turned me into a right-thinking Merry’s consumer. maybe not.

    possible Merry’s slogan: “right-think like Patti and get yourself some cowhide”.

    She could even transfer her leather flogging skills onto ‘the leather sale’ that seems to exist once a year. Just right-thinking really.

    Uncle Mac

    August 24, 2009 at 2:09 am

  2. ‘right-thinking’: frontrunner for neologism of the year, without a slither of fucking doubt.
    also, i had no idea our Patty was such a naked-emperor fraud until y’all spelled it out in flashing neon for me. lame, but sometimes neon it takes. previously i’d just hated her because, well, because just look at that, would you? so i’m thankful to the committee for providing me with an actual, grown-up reason for wishing the Chong violently ill, which i think far improves my overall karmic balance.
    keep on punchin’, pugilists.

    mark (not free saturday night)

    August 24, 2009 at 12:18 pm

  3. there was an ad in the West today for another of Patti’s business lectures on how to ‘maximize your quanxi’

    your chance to get up close and personal with Patti Patti.


    August 26, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    • You know what, my quanxi has been pretty low lately… but we’ve already blown The Dullsvillain’s budget on graphic design. Maybe you could turn up and debate her on any topic?


      August 26, 2009 at 10:24 pm

  4. it says that ‘admission is complimentary’
    so no budget required

    ‘please come in , you look ravishing’

    light lunch provided


    August 27, 2009 at 6:28 am

    • Oh God. This is clearly a double dare situation.

      What are the details? Google isn’t giving me much love.


      August 30, 2009 at 10:13 pm

  5. Woodside Plaza Auditirium
    240 St Georges Terrace
    12:00pm 3 September
    register through WA Chinese Chamber of Commerce
    9481 8228


    August 31, 2009 at 7:52 am

  6. did you go?

    it was an hour of my life I won’t get back again. It was mostly read from a prepared script, very slowly and badly, in the manner of a primary school nativity play.

    Chong spent the first five minutes telling us how there was a Facebook group dedicated to her, with over four hundred members, one of whom had described her as a ‘sexy cougar’. She then proceeded to refer to herself as a sexy cougar on at least twelve separate occasions by my count.

    The bulk of the lecture was rather obvious stuff about guanxi, Chinese history and culture, lucky numbers, table manners, and saving face, most of which seemed to be have been culled from Wikipedia. Her brief summary of Chinese history neatly failed to mention Mao, the Cultural Revolution, or communism. She did talk about business culture, but by reading verbatim from a Harvard Business School publication.

    she had a long and dull anecdote (or ‘antidote’ as Patti called it) about Chinese gift-giving. She had defended a Chinese-Australian business man who was before the CCC. She tried to argue that his extensive and habitual habit of giving gifts to clients and public servants was defensible on cultural grounds because it is an intrinsic part of Chinese business, even though the man had lived in Australia for thirty years. In a ‘landmark ruling’, the Commission had found that regardless of cultural issues, the giving of gifts with the expectation of reciprocal favourable treatment was flat out bribery and not acceptable within the Australian system. She considered this to be culturally insensitive and an egregious insult to the entire Chinese community. She then tried to make light of the fact that she never buys her own lunch.

    She ended with an excruciating joke about a Chinese migrant being discovered drinking his own urine, harassing poultry and eavesdropping on his neighbour’s toilet, because he had been told that to fit in with Australians he needed to drink piss, chase the chicks and listen to bullshit. She managed to drag it out into a five minute shaggy dog story.

    She did not take questions, so I did not have the opportunity of standing up, introducing myself, and asking her whether guanxi was just common or garden cronyism, and how could it be reconciled with Australian legal obligations to have transparent competitive tendering.


    September 3, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    • Now I feel less guilty about not going! Brilliant account. Better you than me.

      It’s amazing how she so often ends up on the wrong side of issues – bluster and ungrounded self-assurance, I guess.

      Obviously no mention of those mean ol’ bloggers and commenters?


      September 3, 2009 at 8:04 pm

  7. she only said something like ‘I used to have a column for Fairfax, and any time I wrote something one-eyed, nationalistic, Han chauvinist, and monumentally fucking stupid about the People’s Republic of China I was surprised how many people used to write to tell me what a daft cunt I am.’

    or words to that effect


    September 4, 2009 at 8:28 am

  8. I went past Merry’s yesterday and they have removed all trace of La Chong from their store.

    perhaps she has ‘resigned’ from that as well


    September 12, 2009 at 6:02 am

    • Or Merrys realised that it’s insane to pay for the privileged of being associated with an unpopular F-trouper… one of the two.


      September 13, 2009 at 11:05 am

  9. I would be genuinely curious to know how well that promotion worked.

    on the basis that no publicity is bad publicity, Merry’s got blanket coverage of the Chong ads because they were so bad they were good. I certainly had never heard of their store before this.

    my guess is that Merry’s would want to keep her, but La Chong’s ego could not handle the constant pisstaking, much like her blog, so she quit.


    September 14, 2009 at 8:16 am

  10. Chong has started advertising her good self

    she has put an ad in today’s West. You can hire her to give her ‘maximise your guanxi’ seminar to your business


    September 23, 2009 at 8:40 am

  11. Patti Chong is defending a convicted pedophile and is also on the board of Constable Care. She should be booted off the board. My children are not safe with people like that!


    October 1, 2012 at 10:20 am

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