The premature death of a Perth cultural institution
Dullsville isn’t only a bastion of change-fearing hicks. It’s also a bit of a police state*. In Western Australia, police can and do:
- Confiscate and even destroy your car;
- Give you a notice requiring you to leave a suburb, immediately;
- Stop you and hundreds of other commuters in peak hour, mid-week traffic for a breath test;
- Use dogs to sniff you on your way into Big Day Out, causing you to panic, swallow your pills, OD and die; and
- Mace, taser, baton and shoot you.
And now they can have you banned from working at a pub:
A lot of Dullsvillains would have mixed feelings about the end of The Rock, formerly known as The Bog. The place for me has a few queasy memories. The beer there always tasted like it came from the one vat of unsterilized home brew. One late night, when it was still The Bog, I went to take a leak and was greeted by a perfect geometric turd sitting on top of the toilet. Not the seat, mind you, but the cistern. The dexterity alone required to pull that off is mind-boggling.
So when Nunzio La Bianca painted the place hot pink and renamed it The Rock, it was half WTF, half FTW:
And now the cops by way of the liquor commission have laid the smack down on Nunz, star of The Ozzie Park Boys. Poor bloke doesn’t only lose his licence to hock early-morning booze to bikies and off-duty strippers, but he’s banned from working at a pub for five years.
Like, he can’t carry glass at The Saint on a Saturday night. Uncle Mac said it best: “Getting banned from a whole industry is unheard of. Even Rodney Adler can be a secretary”.
* By Western liberal democracy standards. I won’t front, North Korea.