The Dullsvillain

Slinging mud at the media of Dullsville (aka Perth, Western Australia)

Patti Wrong

with 11 comments

Patti Chong is Dullsville’s own “celebrity” lawyer, an ostentatious F-lister whos public persona recalls an opinionated echidna.


Patti is a small-town media creature, more famous for her “flamboyant” dress sense and party-going than for her legal practice, “Patti Chong Lawyer”. Presumably, her practice relies on defending victims of the fashion police:

god help us

As someone who can’t help but wax lyrical to a semi-indulgent Perth press, Patti’s fatal flaw is that when she does so, she comes out with the dumbest shit. Here’s Patti on the separation with her husband, prosecution-reptile and Andrew Mallard victimiser Ken Bates:

The separation hasn’t been easy. It’s been worse than a death in the family.

Wo-oh! But that ain’t nothing compared to her view of the Mallard debacle, in which senior public prosecutors, including her ex-hubby, and police collaborated to send an innocent man to jail for 11 years:

What Andrew Mallard went through was bad enough, but what Ken and my family went through is bad, too…

I still stand by him. What the CCC has done to Ken is a travesty of justice of profound consequences…

If there have been any mistakes, it was purely human error. It’s just like a surgeon who accidentally may cut an artery instead of a small vein.

Zing! I’m no doctor, but cutting an artery instead of a small vein?! That’s some Dr Nick Riveria shit, ain’t it?

Artery, vein, what's the difference?

Artery, vein, what's the difference?

And I thought Patti was a litigator – wouldn’t an error of those proportions be a medical negligence gold mine?

(In the meantime, Ken Bates still has his taxpayer funded job (salary: almost $300k) despite the 11 years of shower-rape Mallard will never get back, the CCC finding that Bates engaged in misconduct (two counts) and the CCC statement that there were grounds for his sacking. Travesty of justice of profound consequences, anyone?)

Which brings me to Patti’s blog at WA Today, The Verdict. In Patti’s latest instalment, she manages to leech even more play from the twin babies death non-story (read Zhu’s excellent piece on the story here). The title of this post has got to win the Logie for most inappropriate use of an exclamation point:

Hush baby, please don’t cry!

Even though the title was probably imposed by an overzealous editor, it accurately foreshadows the petty non-insights that follow:

The heartbreaking news of the deaths of twin seven-month-old babies in a Perth suburb this week found with their unconscious mother, in an apparent overdose, has shocked the psyche of right-thinking people.

How horribly Orwellian a phrase is “right-thinking”? The premise: If your “psyche” wasn’t shocked by the deaths, you are wrong-thinking. Call the Thought Police.

Patti goes on:

The mother remains in a critical condition and the cause of the twins’ deaths no doubt will be revealed in an autopsy.

Um, no Patti. The result of the autopsy went public (including on WA Today) the day before your post. It was inconclusive.

Patti then spends a few long paragraphs sharing her opinions on motherhood, mental health and post-natal depression (because lawyers are experts on this stuff?) before ending the post like this:

In the meantime, women with post-natal depression suffer in silence, sometimes with tragic consequences. They sing their lullabies ‘hush, baby please don’t cry, mummy is just going to put you to sleep peacefully.’


Because chronically depressed mothers always sing twisted perversions of lullabies before murdering their offspring?



11 Responses

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  1. Whoa.

    I do not like, also try to profit off pumping up the baby death.

    And “mummy is going to put you to sleep peacefully” shock the psych of right-thinking people!

    Great pick-up with “most inapporiate exclamation mark”!! Too many always in perth media!!! Soon will have using the 🙂 !!!!

    Zhu Hongbing

    July 13, 2009 at 9:52 pm

  2. Please stop stealing my quotes that I steal from newspapers and quote on other blogs.

    There will be ramifications.

    Big Ramifications

    July 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm

  3. Thank you for pulling apart that piece of rubbish passed off as journalism. That must have been painful to read.


    July 19, 2009 at 9:37 pm

  4. I think I said it at the time, but the surgeon anology is not a good one. If a surgeon were to inadvertently sever an artery, he would hopefully try to repair the damage immediately. If he just ignored the error and sewed up the patient and left it festering for, say, twelve years, he would most likely be struck of, if not jailed.

    Defending Bates professionalism by comparing him to someone like Dr. Jayant Patel is strange indeed.

    Patti was once spouting off about her integrity. When I suggested her integrity might not be cast iron if she was forced to resign her job due to a conflict of interest with someone with two counts of professional negligence, she said ‘my estranged husband is also a man of the utmost integrity. The CCC wanted a scapegoat and what better way than to accuse an innocent man who is an exemplar in the legal profession.’


    July 20, 2009 at 8:19 am

    • Thanks for expressing what I only could with a dodgy Simpsons reference, skink.

      Here’s a level on which Patti’s analogy (might?) work: taking someone’s life by accidentally cutting their artery is arguably analogous to taking twelve years of someone’s life by mishandling their prosecution. By that logic, Bates would have been guilty of criminal negligence rather than misconduct.

      Haha, the persecution complex! Yes Patti, the best way to find a scapegoat for a travesty of justice is to accuse innocent exemplars. Why would they even bother to go after the real culprits?


      July 20, 2009 at 8:16 pm

  5. some old stuff you might enjoy


    July 20, 2009 at 8:22 am

    • Never seen it before.

      1:40 onwards: Gold. Absolute gold!

      Big Ramifications

      July 20, 2009 at 12:38 pm

  6. skink

    July 20, 2009 at 12:55 pm

  7. I saw patti at “Kuppa” in Claremont a few weeks back. She had an entourage of 4 guys. They came in at 11 p.m, sat on a table for 20 minutes and left. Very, very strange indeed.

    She’s actually reminiscent of the ice queen in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. A cold draft swept through the place.

    “Turrkish dewight…?”

    Uncle Mac

    July 24, 2009 at 1:56 am

  8. […] her latest The Verdict post, Patti again falls back on what’s fast emerging as her favourite rhetorical device: “Won’t somebody please […]

  9. I wonder what’s so great about this person. “..The separation hasn’t been easy. It’s been worse than a death in the family”. Why have to tell the whole world on what’s happening in her family? Seeking symphathy from the public? Most importantly, don’t break other people’s relationship and that’s what the public should know.

    “..If there have been any mistakes, it was purely human error. It’s just like a surgeon who accidentally may cut an artery instead of a small vein”…What has to do with surgeon? How many surgeons cut wrong artery? I don’t seem the analogy behind the quote.


    December 17, 2010 at 11:44 am

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