The Western Suburbs Update

Who’s the bigger super gayer? The Western Surburbs’ Anthony Von Leonhardi or The Sunday Times’ Holly Wood? I Unfortunately couldn’t find a picture of Holly Wood. He thought Perth would bring him glitz and glamour. Google thought otherwise. Anthony still has a lot of phallus to slurp if he wants that coveted ST possie from Holly, though he’s doing an excellent/worst job at The Western Suburbs of late.

Here he snaps some douche (as Dick would say), with his mother’s friend at a six-course dinner courtesy of Grange. I get a sneaking suspicion these two hang out A LOT at the Subiaco Hotel on Friday nights. This guy is classic douche material. Look at that poxy vest. Look at the immaculate colour co-ordination. Look how the chin is tilted skwards like a pompous hipster. Then look at what’s on his arm. Yuk!  These two deserve each other.

…Gerard Neesham?!

This middle aged blonde wench who looks like she’s been ’round the block a few too many times had her handbag stolen last week while she was shoe shopping in the city. She lives in Claremont. She had this to say: “The sad thing is that i believe in helping others, so if she had simply asked me for money i would have given it to her”. BULLSHIT. What a liar, there is no chance in hell that she would have given her the flint out of her fat wallet let alone a buck-o-five. I had something similar happen to me once. I was begging for gold coins for charity in a flashy Claremont women’s shoe store one morning and they wouldn’t give me the time of day. totally ignored me. I was asked by the store bitch to “please leave, you’re upsetting our customers”. Which was true.

Check out old Sergeant Lockhart giving it the old ‘uncle merv’ (perve) in the background with the great combo of the skull cranium and the thick ‘tash that tapers off at the ends. Kudos. By the way, isn’t all crime a  ‘crime of opportunity?’

Speaking of crime, this is my favourite section of the WSW. After disappearing for a week ‘Police Watch’ makes a glorious return. Good to see Claremont getting a solid pilfering. Bay View Terrace has been copping it sweet over the last 4 weeks, which is always good. Would like to see Peppermint Grove get involved a bit more. They seem to escape the bandits wrath. I feel for Wembley- Cambridge & Harbourne Street are made for the ‘ol pick & roll move. With any luck with this recession and all, we’ll see the burglaries go through the roof in the western suburbs, so to speak.  Also, I hope that ‘unnamed oval’ in Nedlands is safe in witness protection.

Flogging guitars in Wembley and teaching battlers how to fingerpick is where Tommy Emmanuel’s career is at now.