The Dullsvillain

As part of the mission to understand why Dullsville is Dull in these ways, and also because I finally realize that Chinese Times has nothing worth translating because it all come from the Perthnow anyway (un-atributed of course, always), so I decided to crack open the Dullsvault instead.

Actually, in 1984, readers have no Perthnow of course – only hardcopy Sunday Times of course. So, come with me on the journey to discover when they open the newspaper on FEbruary 19, 1984, what do they find?

Good start, uproar in London about the two sexual “deviants”, who they say are “jumping the queue” because they are actually considered a couple!

Get real man, this is the 80s! heterosexual is first-class citizen, homosexual second, okay? But we can see even in 1984, still have this gay-marriage debate….since then how much progress has been occurred? Maybe none, but in this case, if some lesbian feel like being oppressed by this newspaper story, only need to look to the advert just to the right-hand side to find someone to fight for them the article:

Clearly, “THE REBEL TRADER”, Mr Gerald, he would fight for the lesbian rights if you buy his product.

Anyone recognize this hero-cop below, maybe have the Royal Showbag named after him? Showbag contains the most high technology of police propaganda – balloons and metal badges:

But since then, we can see the real-life hero has been dumped, dishonored:

THEN: Real life hero

NOW: Shame on Constable Bare!

Remember when Phoney Phil write the column from London? (Yeah, London was also considered “the Burbs”, aparently). If i remember correct, Phil would like to just have a big whinge about something in UK, or talk about “cultural differences” as if it exist in meaningful way between UK and Australia. Now we know even this stupid angle was copied from another writer:

Next one, I love this. The Target winter collection, where “The Only Unfashionable Things in the Brochure are the Prices”. Hahaha. I seen more fashionable Mongolian goat herders.

Blatant lying is one thing, which everybody know (or was Target really fashionable in fact in 1984?). But then, on the exactly same page we find:

…so the message: “read our brochure, even though it’s all wrong and it will be a total wasting your time.” Probably no-one was fired for this shame, but at least should have fired the person who try to market Target as “fashionable”.

This one is strange I think because Perth’s Sunday Times is almost right for once, and the prediction almost come true.

But, alas no prediction for consequences of stupid ads on the same page…

…Fannie May, Freddie Mac, Acme Mortgages, Kresta Blinds. Very very reckless Kresta. Don’t you know this leads to GLOBAL FINANCIAL MELTDOWN?!